Small Groups don't work?

saw this quote somewhere today:

"Small groups are things that trick us into believing we’re serious about making disciples. The problem is 90 percent of small groups never produce one single disciple. Ever. They help Christians make shallow friendships, for sure. They’re great at helping Christians feel a tenuous connection to their local church, and they do a bang-up job of teaching Christians how to act like other Christians in the Evangelical Christian subculture. But when it comes to creating the kind of holistic disciples Jesus envisioned, the jury’s decision came back a long time ago—small groups just aren’t working.”

Parenthood - Part 4: The Problem with South Florida

The Problem with South Florida


We came to visit my wife's Grandfather every year in South Florida. It was always a dream to move to the warm weather of South Florida. After finishing college, we made that dream a reality and moved down from Michigan to enjoy the weather and to keep Grandpa company. When Grandpa passed away, my wife's parents actually moved into his place, and a few years later, her brother also moved down to the area.


Our first place, in Coral Springs, was across the street from a high school. Hearing the marching band practicing from our balcony, I remarked to my wife that we should go see a high school football game for fun. To this day, ten years later, I'll never forget what an eye opening experience that was to the horrors of South Florida culture - or rather a lack of culture.


Two area high schools can have as many as 3000 students, while being located only a few miles from each other. I was shocked the first time I saw the stands at a football game between two of these over-packed schools. The stands were empty. The culture down here doesn't care. 3000 students; 6000 parents; 12,000 grandparents - empty bleachers.


My family moved to a small town in Southeastern Michigan during my junior year of high school. I attended a football game for our school and I was overwhelmed by the community attendance at the football game. The high school had about 400 students and the town had a population of about 4000. It seemed as if the whole town showed up for every football game. My dad didn't believe me. He had to see it to believe it. He learned the hard way that it was standing room only for late-comers.


South Florida, despite being a salad bowl of cultures from all over the world, is actually totally devoid of a culture of its own. Maybe a culture of selfishness; of meanness; of greed; of indifference; of business; of materialism. There is no community here. It isn't just the high school bleachers that are empty.

The professional hockey arena across the street is empty for most games. The professional baseball games are mostly empty. The professional soccer team is expired. Fairs and festivals are laughably irrelevant at capturing the community.

I've heard people throw around statistics about South Florida, but I prefer to simply show the absence of culture through ten years of experience living down here. Nowhere is it more painful and obvious than in the neighborhoods.

When looking for a home, we went out of our way to avoid a gated community. The reasons should be obvious and self-explanatory. Our non-gated neighborhood has been nothing but a disappointment. (I've alluded to this in past posts.) We've gotten to know most of our neighbors within a 5 house radius. This is a major accomplishment in South Floridian terms - most of these neighbors don't know each other.

These neighbors have come to parties/dinners at our house and remarked that, in 25 years, no one else has ever invited them over. At Christmastime, most homes are devoid of decorations/lights. At Halloween, most homes are dark and "closed for business". Its depressing. Everyone pays a lawn crew to take care of yard work. Everyone pays someone to come and wash their car. Many pay someone to come in and clean the house.

Neighborhood kids are rarely seen, and if so, its usually loitering under a basketball hoop that is set up in the street. And the speed limit on our streets is 30 mph.

Should I go on?

Parenthood - Part 3: Homeschool and Preschool

As a first grade teacher, my wife is uniquely equipped to raise our young children. I'm an educated, fairly smart guy, but I couldn't begin to know how to teach a kid how to read. My wife, on the other hand, is more than able to teach them how to read, among other things.

To homeschool or not to homeschool?

I've told my wife that it is up to her. If she wants to homeschool our children until about third grade, that is perfectly fine with me.

I'm not sure how keen I am on the homeschooling ideology as a whole, but I do feel that my wife is uniquely qualified to at least homeschool our children in the beginning stages. Our garage is a veritable library of reading materials, school materials, crafts, etc. etc. etc. It is overflowing with materials that my wife has collected (because of her love for her students) that could easily be to the benefit of our own children.

To preschool or not to preschool?

I've been substitute teaching at a private elementary school for the past several years. Occasionally, I'd sub in for the P.E. teacher. At these times, I actually had access to the pre-school classes. This is exaggeration of course - but handling a dozen toddlers is almost impossible. It seems to me that each of them brings to the table their own bad habits. To be fair, each of them probably only has one or two bad habits. But put 12 children into a room (or a playground) for 40 hours a week and they'll pick up each other's bad habits/behaviors. So each child goes home with about 25 bad behaviors/habits when they went into it with only one. By the time they're in kindergarten, they've probably picked up close to 40 or 50. And for what benefit? So they could learn their ABC's? So they could learn to count to ten?

To me, its not worth it. The trade off is terribly uneven. This isn't a knock on particular preschools, other people's children, or anything else. This is simply my justification for why I don't want my children setting foot inside a preschool. Especially for 40 hours a week.

Parenthood - Part 2: The Second Child

My wife went back to work when my son was a little more than 4 months old. Up until this point, we had never even considered the option of her staying home with the children. My wife has always been a strong, independent woman (she plans to pick a fight with the Apostle Paul when she sees him in Heaven.) It never occurred to us that either one of us would want her to stay home from work.

Almost immediately, we realized our mistake. Going back to work was going to be very painful for her. Despite the fact that she loved her job. She loved being a first-grade teacher. She loved the kids, as if they were her own. But every day at work, she was missing valuable time at home with our son. Not to mention the fact that after giving 11o% every day at school, she simply had little energy left to expend while at home.

When she went back to work after the birth of our son, we also found out that she was pregnant again (she was craving chocolate milk - which was the telltale sign.) This changed everything. Having already made the mistake of sending her back to work after the birth of our son, we weren't about to repeat the mistake.

Prior to the birth of our son, there was no way we could know how important it would be for her to be there for them at all times. Its funny, because both of our own mother's were home for us when we were young children, but in the generational gap, the importance was lost.

Secondly, we couldn't burden Grandma with having to watch two children at once. During the first year of parenthood, we relied heavily upon Grandma, but it would have been unfair to her to expect her to keep up with the Irish twins - a full time job for three adults.

Thirdly, the expense of childcare/daycare/babysitting almost cancels out the benefit of a two-income home. Beyond cost, there are a variety of reasons why I don't want my children spending their formative years in the midst of 10 other children and one adult who may or may not be able to keep up with them all - if they are even trying.

It quickly became a non-decision to have my wife step-down from teaching a dozen children that belonged to someone else, and give all of her energy and time to raising our own children. If and when she returns to "work" remains to be seen.

To be continued.....

Parenthood - Part 1

When my wife and I turned 30, we decided that the time for parenthood was "now or never." Having been together for 12 years, we figured it was about high time that we added kids into the mix. We tried to get pregnant for almost 4 years. When we finally got pregnant, it was a short-lived excitement, as we lost him/her. We then immediately got pregnant again. Again, the excitement was short-lived as it turned out to be twins and one of them was lost in complications that almost took my wife's life. My son was truly a miracle baby. My wife lost a lot of blood, was hopped up on Morphine - a medical necessity, as she describes the pain as being worse than childbirth itself, and the surgery to save her were all factors that were supposed to bring the chances of survival for my son down to a sliver of hope.

We waited on pins and needles as each week passed and hope grew. When my son was finally born, the last thing we expected was that God would immediately give us another child. (We had forgotten that we had already spent 4 years praying for a child, and God was about to answer those prayers twofold). My wife became pregnant with our daughter almost immediately after the birth of our son. I'll admit that I was in shock for at least a couple of months.

One child is an earth shattering life change. But still, its not so bad. Its like he's our little sidekick that goes along wherever we go.

But the news of a second child changed everything. We started to seriously reevaluate everything about our life.

To be continued.......

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Roughly two thousand years ago, Jesus was born in a dumpy, rural, hick town, not unlike those today where guys change their own oil, think pro wrestling is real, find women who chew tobacco sexy, and eat a lot of Hot Pockets with their uncle-daddy. Jesus’ mom was a poor, unwed teenage girl who was mocked for claiming she conceived via the Holy Spirit. Most people thought she concocted a crazy story to cover the “fact” she was knocking boots with some guy in the backseat of a car at the prom. Jesus was adopted by a simple carpenter named Joseph and spent the first thirty years of his life in obscurity, swinging a hammer with his dad.

Around the age of thirty, Jesus began a public ministry that included preaching, healing the sick, feeding the hungry, and befriending social misfits such as perverts, drunks, and thieves. Jesus’ ministry spanned only three short years before he was put to death for declaring himself to be God. He died by shameful crucifixion like tens of thousands of people before and after him.

At first glance, Jesus’ résumé is rather simple. He never traveled more than a few hundred miles from his home. He never held a political office, never wrote a book, never married, never had sex, never attended college, never visited a big city, and never won a poker tournament. He died both homeless and poor.

THIS IS AN EXCERPT FROM VINTAGE JESUS BY MARK DRISCOLL.

(LAURA BOUGHT ME VINTAGE JESUS AND VINTAGE CHURCH FOR CHRISTMAS, FOR WHICH I AM GRATEFUL, BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TO READ)

90% of churches don't bother with their Twitter/Facebook pages

from Justin Wise on Church Marketing Sucks:


Churches (and a lot of organizations) get swept up in the fad of social media without thinking through a long-term strategy. Someone on staff will get excited, grab a Twitter account or start a Facebook fan page, and then stall out. Once the “high” of getting the first few followers wears off, these social media become dormant and neglected communication channels.

In other churches, you’ll find an ambitious staff person who has taken the initiative for their church. They have started generating content on multiple social networks and are getting a great response. What happens next is someone higher up on the food chain will find out about it and want to control it. Or shut it down. Or turn it into an “info dump”, clogged with redundant church advertisements and announcements. Once that happens, social media fails to be social.

Courts Helping Banks Screw Over Homeowners

Here is a great article from this week's Rolling Stone: Courts helping banks screw over homeowners.


Here is the final paragraph of the article:


When you meet people who are losing their homes in this foreclosure crisis, they almost all have the same look of deep shame and anguish. Nowhere else on the planet is it such a crime to be down on your luck, even if you were put there by some of the world's richest banks, which continue to rake in record profits purely because they got a big fat handout from the government. That's why one banker CEO after another keeps going on TV to explain that despite their own deceptive loans and fraudulent paperwork, the real problem is these deadbeat homeowners who won't pay their bills. And that's why most people in this country are so ready to buy that explanation. Because in America, it's far more shameful to owe money than it is to steal it.

Church: According to Legacy

Here is an excerpt from Legacy Church that I liked:


Church (ekklesia) means a gathered and unified people. Legacy Church gathers around a King, not a building or time. I sure didn't grow up this way, so we "went" to church rather than "gathered" as the church. It seems like splitting hairs doesn't it.

Right now we meet in a pretty small place, but will grow to a bigger one, the whole time splitting off in smaller groups. During all of this we never stop being the church. Church is a lifestyle - a people continually on mission together. We might be eating together, working out together, meeting as men, as women. We might be worshipping, studying God's story to us, helping the disenfranchised, you get the picture. The whole time we are the church.

Legacy Church meets at 7905 Woodland Brae, Knoxville TN
Legacy Church meets at 5:30 PM on Sundays

South Florida Amber Alert: Hospitality and Kindness

I was speaking to my new neighbor today. She moved here from Puerto Rico last winter and bought the foreclosed, run-down house next door.

I told her that we were planning on leaving Sunny South Florida at some point for a destination further north. I explained that that were a myriad of reasons for our planned departure (hot weather, cost of living, over-stuffed schools), not the least of which is our aversion to the culture and people of South Florida.

People in South Florida are uncaring jerks, for the most part. Anyone who would deny this is either in denial, or they are in fact one of those jerks. We come from the Midwest (Detroit) where people are actually friendly, and more importantly, neighborly.

In the five and a half years that we've lived in our home, we have extended every effort to build good relationships with our neighbors. No one has returned the favor. With two kids under our roof, we simply no longer want to be "missionaries" to this uncaring culture.

My neighbor, from Puerto Rico, stated that she actually thought that this culture was indicative of the U.S. as a whole. I told her that she couldn't be more wrong. In the Midwest, people are friendly, conversational, and neighborly. We sense it the second we step foot off of the plane in Michigan.

She told me that, where she comes from, the neighbors ask each other for help, hang out together, and aren't afraid to ask for "eggs or milk" when they've run out.

I laughed. I can relate.

I've gone to my neighbors for these things and received looks as if I were some sort of alien. We've invited our neighbors into our home on many occasions. Our immediate neighbors have lived here for 25 years and they've never received such an invitation from any other neighbor in that time. The irony is that our immediate neighbors are the "nicest neighbors" we have - and they are the couple from Brooklyn who always seem like they're yelling. The bar has been lowered.

In Tennessee, my aunt knows everyone who lives in her neighborhood, after only living there a couple years. I count myself lucky because I know about a dozen of my neighbors. Most of my neighbors don't even know each other.

Here's what I don't understand. If South Florida is so full of the Hispanic Culture, why doesn't it have more of an impact on our hospitality to each other? You would think that the Melting Pot/Salad Bowl of South Florida would be a better place to live, but it isn't.