What I learned in Church: Part I, The Small Traditional Church

I grew up in a small traditional church in Southgate, MI. It was an American Baptist church with about 80 people in attendance each week. (80 is actually the national average by the way.)

My parents went to this church. And my Grandparents went to this church. I suspect that this was probably the case for most of the attenders at this church. We sang hymns while a choir sang and an organist and a pianist played along. The preacher was down-to-earth and low-key, and 30 years later, he is still preaching there today. I attended this church for my entire childhood, until I was 17 years old, and my family moved away from the area.

This church specialized in tradition and family. There were numerous potlucks, musicals, and other social functions which served to strengthen the familial bond of the church family. Evangelism was not a strong priority and moving forward with the "times" was also not a priority.

Looking back, I can appreciate this church now more than I may have back then. Nothing much ever changes at that church. But in some ways, that can be a good thing.

Growing up in that church, my family was about as involved as we could be. This was a good thing sometimes, but other times it was not a good thing. My friends at church were not my friends at school, and my friends at school were not my friends in my neighborhood, and my friends at church were not my friends in my neighborhood. So my life as a child and as a teenager was very compartmentalized:

School
Neighborhood
Church

Ironically, it was my friends in my neighborhood who bore the most influence over me and to this day, they are my closest friends in life. There was never any crossover between these three worlds of mine and I'm convinced that that was never a good thing. Some crossover might have done me some good.

So what did I learn from this church?

1. I learned that your church family is exactly that - a family. You can take the good with the bad. This was a wonderful support group for our family, but as a teen I began to see the hypocrisy in some people at church and it rubbed me the wrong way.

2. While my father had some close relationships with other men who were Godly men, my family really didn't connect with other full-fledged families at the church, and I didn't really connect with any of my peers at the church. These men were great to have around our home (as friends of my father), but I would have been better off if my parents had become closer to other families that would have had a greater impact on me than just a bunch of single guys.

3. A simple church has a lot less problems. Things are easier. They are slower. Budgets are much smaller. Worship is simpler and therefore easier to pull off. And people don't tend to come and go through the front door like it is a revolving door.

The Standard of Christian Parenting

I turned my life over to Jesus when I was 24 years old, during my last year of college. I immediately sought out and joined a group that my dad had recommended years earlier called the Navigators.

That last year in Michigan, I mostly went to church by myself, and also went to the Navigators meetings. When we moved to South Florida, shortly before we were married, my wife, Laura, through her own journey of Faith Discovery also became a believer. At first, we went to Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale until we were led to our current church. (And anyone that knows us knows about the failed attempt at a church plant.)

Over the past decade, we've grown together in our Faith and Understanding of Jesus and His Mission. Through the good times and the bad. Interestingly, we seem to do the most growing during the bad times, when circumstances try to get the better of us.

When we turned 30, our biological clocks started ticking and we took seriously the idea of starting a family, though naive as to all that that would entail. Almost 4 years later, we were blessed with a little boy. This past year has been the hardest (economically) and also the greatest - emotionally, relationally, and spiritually - of our entire lives. This coming month, we are expecting a little girl, which I can imagine will only increase our joy exponentially.

We've both discussed the idea that, with only Grant by our side, at times, he seemed like a little side-kick. He was fun to have around, but not too much trouble. But with a little girl on the way, we are feeling more like a family. And we are seriously starting to lay down a plan on how we are going to raise them spiritually and practically.

For Christmas, my wife bought me a book called Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna - I wrote about it a few months ago. Obviously, I could kill myself reading a plethora of books about parenting, but I don't intend to.

Over the past decade, we've seen some great examples of parenting amongst some of the Christian friends that we've made. We cherry-picked some of their elements in order to form our own plan for raising our kids.

We've seen, first-hand, families that pray together every day, more than once a day even. We've seen families that engage their kids in discussions spanning Biblical and spiritual matters, as well as anything else that may be pertinent.

We knew one family, in particular, with six kids. The mother home schooled all six kids. At times, I would hear people at church criticize them for their lack of commitment to church or church activities. They were involved in church, but I think that people saw their potential for impact and were disappointed that they weren't more involved.

But now, with our own family forming, I think I can see more clearly the priorities of the "home-school" brood. With six kids and two adults, they were practically their own "small group". Let's face it, with that many kids, every day at home is basically a "cell church". Which makes me wonder. How many kids do you need to have, to take on that sort of function?

As we've discussed our plan for raising our children, we've both agreed that we are going to raise the standards by which we both were raised by our own parents. Having read Barna's recommendations for standards, I can't say that I would commit to all of the standards that he prescribes in his book. Not because I disagree with them on principle, but because I don't think that some of them are a realistic fit for our personalities and our family.

Also, as I've stated, there are some examples that we've seen first hand that we are definitely going to incorporate into our familial plan. Obviously, we never know what kind of curve balls God is going to throw at us, but we actually usually have a better batting average against curve balls anyways.

Who or What sets the standard for Christian Parenthood?

Our church has about 900 worshippers in each of its services.

Our church has multiple services each weekend on both Saturday and Sunday.

Our church is pretty loud and chaotic, with people milling about and laser lights shooting each way.

Our church sets aside the last couple rows in the auditorium for families with young children. (So one can get up when their young one begins to "act up.")

Our church has a cry room - this is a secluded room at the back walled off by sound proof glass and bathed in a soft blue light. This room is filled by babies, toddlers, and their parents.

Actually, all of these elements come in pretty handy for us - because we have a 12 month old and another infant due at the end of this month.

For me, this is just another "season" in our Christian Journey together. To be perfectly honest, we really have no interest in putting our 12 month old into the nursery with a bunch of other babies. This isn't a reflection on our church's nursery but rather of the fact that our son has been pretty successfully secluded up to this point and it seems to be going well. (He has only gotten sick once. I know, there's the school of thought that says that he will get sick either way sooner or later. That's fine. I choose later.)

Being in this "season" though, has given me plenty of time to ponder our future, or rather, the future of our family as it relates to the Christian Faith and Church in general.

In my next post, I'm going to back up a step and review my own upbringing and how that has shaped my current views on Christian Parenthood.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" might be my favorite song. Or at least the song that has the deepest emotional effect on me.

Early this morning, while rocking my son to sleep, I found myself worshipping and praying to God - and listening to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". The song is on a CD of lullaby songs that we play for my infant son while he sleeps in his nursery.

Its easy to worship God while listening to music that was made for that purpose - songs about God's character, his Son, and what He's done for us through His sacrifice. But for some reason, I find it almost more geniune, when I find myself worshipping Him through means that might otherwise not have been meant for that purpose.

I liken it to the difference between "going to a church service" in order to worship God, as opposed to worshipping Him on a daily basis no matter the circumstances. A great many people never realize that this is not only possible, but preferable, as far as God is concerned. This is how Paul was able to stay positive, even joyful, in the face of trial and tribulation. This is why we've seen people pulled from the rubble in Haiti this week singing songs about faith.

I'm not exactly sure why "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" affects me so deeply - perhaps for a number of reasons. One - The Wizard of Oz definitely held some wistful meaning for me as a child. It was only on television once a year, which made it somewhat of a delicacy. Two - two of the most romantic movies that I know both end with this song during their climactic coupling - You've Got Mail and 50 First Dates.

But still, listening to the song while rocking my son to sleep this morning made me think of an even more probable reason. The song evokes a feeling that dreams are possible. That things will get better just around the next corner. That God has better things in store. That a wonderful world of color is beyond this world of black and white drabness and ugliness.

Or my wife's pregnancy hormones are getting to me and I just need to go back to sleep.


When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around,
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun,
Just a step beyond the rain

Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna

The cover art and title of this book would make you think that it is somewhat of a sequel to his book, Revolution. But it isn't. It is actually more of a sequel to his book, Think Like Jesus. I think that he just used the titling and cover art (as he did with Pagan Christianity) because the book, Revolution, was groundbreaking and controversial and therefore, popular.

If you'll remember, Think Like Jesus (which I reviewed way back when) used short tests amidst his polls to measure whether people were actual Christians or not - not just whether they gave lip-service to the label of "Christian". Obviously, such a test is practically impossible to give credence to, but it still enables one to sift a bit of the garbage away, so to speak.

Barna, then went further and gave people a slightly longer test to determine whether they had a Biblical worldview or not. He went on to say that those people with a solid Biblical worldview lived lives that were vastly different from those who did not have a Biblical worldview - despite whether or not they claimed to be a Christian.

In Revolutionary Parenting, Barna takes this idea a step further and polls children, teenagers and young adults (20 somethings). He determines which of these children/teens/young adults has a Biblical worldview and then tries to find common threads among the familial culture in which they were raised.

Once again, using his research, Barna is quick to point out that he is only the messenger, and that some of his findings are counter-cultural. This would be where this book ties in with Revolution - as he finds that "parenting that produces spiritual champions is often with little or no help from the Church."

Some of his findings:

• The lion share of responsibility for raising children falls upon parents, not churches, schools, or daycare workers - no matter how much time children spend in these institutions. The more time parents spend with their children, the more success they have in spiritually shaping them.



• Parents who put the emphasis on character development rather than academics, sports, arts, or other distractions have the most success.



• Single parent homes are screwed. Seriously. As he puts it, the research simply shows that if you are a single parent, you are screwed.



• One-income families are profoundly more successful at raising spiritual champions, despite its counter-cultural position. He says that families that bite the bullet and figure out how to leave one parent at home have a huge statistical advantage - like it or not.



• Parents who use strong disciplinary measures - strict adherence to threatened punishments, curfews, etc. - have a big advantage despite the counter cultural trends.



• Parents who pray together (outside of mealtime grace), study the Bible together, and engage in Spiritual discussion together have the major advantage over parents who rely on the Church and Youth Groups to cover this ground.



• For the 20 odd-years that you are a parent to a child, this responsibility should be your primary responsibility. Not second or third to anything or anyone else.

Basically, the wishy-washy mediocre so-called "Christians" that were outed in Think Like Jesus are breeding and raising wishy-washy mediocre so-called Christians in the next generation.

All I Want for Xmas is........ Books.

My wife asked me back in November for any Xmas requests. I gave her my Amazon.com wish list. I've been adding to it for a couple years now. I haven't bought any books lately because of a lack of time and a lack of funds. So the list has grown to almost a dozen books.

To be honest, I haven't done much extra-Biblical reading lately. That is probably a good thing, as most of the books out there are probably drivel - especially the books written for those in ecclesiastical leadership. Even if I'm no longer in the role of a pastor, those are probably the books I'd read anyways.

With a lack of new books to read, I've recently revisited those few books which have been most influential on me. Three to be exact.

Radical Reformission - by Mark Driscoll
Revolution - by George Barna
Confessions of a Reformission Rev. - by Mark Driscoll

Radical Reformission showed me the kind of Christian that I wanted to be - or was meant to be.
Confessions showed me the type of Pastor I'd most likely be were I given the chance to lead others spiritually.
And Revolution showed me that there is indeed life outside of the church bubble, a life of faith and Christian Living. I've been lax to mention this book too much for fear that its namesake might misconstrue certain motivations behind the namesake of this blog. NO, THIS BLOG ISN'T ABOUT LEAVING THE CHURCH BEHIND AND STARTING OUT ON A MISSIONAL HOUSE CHURCH LIFESTYLE FORSAKING ORGANIZED RELIGION.

Nonetheless, the book did indeed have a profound impact on me and still does to this day. Barna has a unique way of using his "research" (he is the premier pollster of religious matters in the U.S.) to necessitate the writing of his books. In other words, he argues that the statistics speak for themselves - and he is just the messenger of the story that those statistics tell. In the case of Revolution, the story (and the statistics) tell of a sub culture of Christians who have left and are leaving the Church in order to pursue a vibrant, active, healthy Christian lifestyle on their own.

Because of this, two Barna books were on my list - Pagan Christianity and Revolutionary Parenting. Pagan Christianity is a book he authored with Frank Viola about the Pagan roots of what we call the "modern church" Pagan roots of: preaching, worship, buildings, pastors, ordered worship, church business practices and models, etc. It is an incendiary book that goes a little too far into the rabbit hole of "the Organized Church is putting a stranglehold on the modern Christian which makes a healthy relationship with Jesus almost an impossibility." Nonetheless, I'd like to read Pagan Christianity, and I have read parts of it while sitting in Borders.

Revolutionary Parenting is a book that I actually received from my wife (thank you very much) and I will devote a subsequent post to it's review. Being a new parent, and a fan of the book, Revolution, I thought it would be an appropriate read at this juncture.

Driscoll's first two books were groundbreaking for me. Radical influenced me as a Christian, and Confessions influenced me as a pastor. Having been out of a leadership role, spiritually, for some time, Confessions doesn't hold the same grip on me as it did - neither does any other ecclesiastical book for that matter. When you're not in the thick of it, what's the point in reading about it?

I think I've read Radical Reformission at least half a dozen times by now. Surely a record for me. I've reread favorite books from time to time, but none of them that many times for sure. This book is what turned me on to Driscoll in the first place. He thinks like I think. He talks like I talk. Just about everything he says connects with me in some way - even when I disagree with him, or especially when he is convicting me of sin and making me feel bad about it - which Driscoll does quite often, especially in his preaching. Let's face it, as a man, a father, and a husband - I AM A PATHETIC FAILURE. And Driscoll specializes in showing men when they are Pathetic Failures. So this hits home with me quite often.

I've neglected to purchase any of Driscoll's subsequent books for a few reasons:

1. He's become an internationally popular preacher/pastor. He could write a book about pooping, get it published, and sell thousands. Just because he starts putting out a bunch of books, doesn't mean that they'll have the impact of those first two.
2. He has basically been publishing book versions of his Sermon Series - admittedly. I've already listened to the sermons, do I really need to read the book too? Is this just a ploy to capitalize on his popularity?
3. Most authors, like musicians, proceed to push out more of the same, never offering something new or worthwhile. This is one of the reasons I like Rick Warren. Having written Purpose Driven Church and Purpose Driven Life, he really hasn't written anything since. I like that about him. He could have easily made millions by writing subsequent books like Purpose Driven Potato Salad, Purpose Driven Parenting, and Purpose Driven Ping Pong. But he didn't.

Driscoll's language, interpretation, and way of thinking appeal to me so much, though, that I couldn't stay away from his books forever. So I added them to my wish list.

And my wife got me one for Xmas - Religion Saves. I will also post my review of that book as well.

I know that I haven't written much lately - too busy, too distracted, too whatever. Maybe that will change. Maybe not. Either way, I'm making up for it this New Year's Eve. Unloading on my trusty blog all that is weighing me down.

But this one disturbs me most......

In Gary Lamb's recent post about his downfall/recovery, there was only one sentence that I found disturbing and upsetting:

I believe with everything that is in me that God is not through with me in a full-time ministry role but I do believe He has me on the sidelines right now to get some things right in my life.

I just don't get it.

There are plenty of men out there who are faithful to their wives. Let's say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Let's also hypothesize that 20% of those 50% that stay married cheat on their wives, but still stay married. That would leave us with 30% of men who are able to stay married and faithful. Let's further hypothesize that that 30% is just too generous of a number - let's say, that realistically, only 20% of men could be trusted to remain faithful to their wives.

Now. Shouldn't that 20% be expected to be our leadership? Why are we relying on the other 80% at all?

Of course, naysayers will throw out central themes of the Bible like Fall and Redemption as an excuse for reinstating someone like Gary. But the Bible also has plenty of stories about God calling out those few who show true signs of inward character, rather than those outward signs of exuberance or talent.

I just don't get it.

Is there no such thing as disqualification? Does character matter? Are we that desperate for someone who has talent?

I sometimes wonder how many "true leaders" / aka shepards are being hidden in some of our churches. Or if they are even in church at all?

How often are we trading image and talent for character and obedience?

I've got nothing against Gary for what he's done. I still think he is quite an entertaining character. I agree with Perry Noble, who stated that each of us are only a few missteps from a similar fate.

But I believe that Gary needs to get a real jobby job, like the rest of us. And forget about being a shepard.

He needs to go to church and just enjoy it, like the rest of us.

Trials and Tribulations might be a good thing......

My wife and I met exactly 16 years ago. We've practically grown up together. We've gone through a couple life stages together. We've grown closer and closer over the years together. Our relationship is now stronger and better than ever.

Interestingly, it seems that when circumstances are the roughest - that's when our relationship thrives and flourishes.

I get annoyed by those husbands who constantly refer to their "hot" wives - always commenting on how "lucky" they are to be with such a multi-faceted women who is so obviously "out of their league". Sometimes I wonder who they are trying to convince - the world, or themselves.

Of course, this is exactly how I feel about my wife, but I don't feel the need to broadcast it to the world on a regular basis - to the point of annoyance of others. I just broadcast it to her personally on a daily basis because she never gets tired of it.

There's no real purpose to this post. I'm just feeling lucky, or rather, blessed. Hopefully our relationship is strong enough and God will see fit to make the next 16 years a little easier on us.

Either way, I am thankful.

Pastoral Failure #1,673: Gary Lamb

My mom told me recently of her recent church experience. A few weeks ago, she went to church only to have the two elders of the church get up and read a letter stating that the Senior Pastor of ten years had been removed for indiscretions unbecoming of a pastor.

I think I've become jaded. In fact, I'm sure I've become jaded. In the back of my mind, I've come to expect this of pastors. It has no bearing on them personally, it is just a fact of life. People fail, men especially. Men with egos even more so. Men held up on a pedestal even more so. So I leave that possibility open in my mind, so that, when it happens, it doesn't shake my faith in Jesus, just my faith in men.

My two favorite preachers to listen to, unarguably (Sorry, Dave.) would have to be Mark Driscoll and Gary Lamb. As Driscoll has gotten more and more popular - a world traveller of late - and more successful, I've left that place in my mind open to the possibility of his failure. "When Mark Driscoll falls, I won't be shocked or hurt by it, I'll simply move on, " I tell myself.

So with my eye on Driscoll, it came out of left field for me to read on Gary Lamb's blog this week of his relational/sexual failure which has removed him from his ministry.

Oh well. I'll move on. Of course, I'll pray for those involved, but as I said - I'm jaded.

Church Evangelism during Xmas

This week, we received two pieces of mail from two different churches. Both were churches that we visited during our 2007 Church Field Trip Tour. Both pieces of mail are quite different. I'll let you weigh in on the obvious differences.


Solara Church - We received the typical full-color mailer announcing their Special Christmas Services on Dec. 20th and 21st. Nothing special, really. Just a simple invitation to join them for their Christmas services.



New City Church - We received a letter from Pastor Tullian letting us know that their congregation is in dire need of funds as these economic times have not been kind to the church budget. Currently, they are running more than 25% short on their budget on a weekly basis. They don't have a building, so this shortage is due mostly to their staffing costs.

Pastor Tullian says that during the Great Depression, Christians gave 24.2% of their income to the church, while today Christians give about 3.4% to the church. He says that a church of 600 people (with no building) ought to be able to finish the year with a surplus rather than a deficit. He says that most Christians are no different than their worldly counterparts - spending more than they make.

I'd go so far as to say that most Christians probably learned that lesson from their church - spending more than they bring in, and hoping for a year-end miracle. (This isn't the first time I've heard a December financial plea from a church - aiming for those "year-end gifts" that always seem to come - for tax purposes of course.)

Unfortunately, I've also seen churches/ministries "spend-out" at this time of year, so that their budget won't get reduced by a financial board in the new year. Either way, its a bit disheartening.

We don't receive regular pieces of mail from either of these two churches. I just thought it was interesting that these two churches would reach out to us - more than a year later - in such vastly different ways.

Could the same be said of Roe v. Wade?

More than 52 percent of Californians voted this week to change the state's constitution to define marriage as between a man and woman, reversing a state Supreme Court decision in May that made California the second U.S. state to allow gay couples to wed.

As of yesterday afternoon, more than 99 percent of the state's precincts had reported results. While some provisional ballots were still being counted, opponents acknowledged the ban had passed.

Proponents say the outcome shows that the law is ultimately determined by popular sentiment and that the Supreme Court is out of touch with the state's residents.

Could the same be said concerning Roe v. Wade? Out of touch? Or even out of date?

Granted, 52 percent, is by no means a large margin at all. And if the court was split in its decision, then it would indeed be in touch with the state's residents. But at the same time, there is a part of me that would rather be led by the majority instead of a small court of judges. Of course, I realize the peril inherent in being led by mob rule / majority vote, so I guess we're stuck either way.

Funny thing, is that I would gladly trade the right to marriage for everyone in exchange for the right to life for everyone. I think that it is obvious that one far outweighs the other. Too bad. Right now, it just seems like everyone loses.

Church - Something is Missing.....

I miss the rag tag bunch of believers that was our last church.

Not all the time.

But sometimes.

The church that we belong to could easily be described as a modern day mega church. Each weekend, more than 4,000 people flock to the campus for a quick, one-hour worship service. Our preacher is now on TV - as well he should be because it suits him and his style of preaching. Our worship team is loud and energetic and as professional as they could be. Our building is outfitted with all the amenities a modern church could need.

But something is missing. Not from our church. But from me.

I notice it when the service is over and the music is fading. It takes less than 4 minutes for 900 people to exit the building and another 5 minutes to exit the premises. If I dally at all with talking to people and socializing, I find myself standing almost alone in the huge auditorium, unless it is between services, in which, it quickly fills back up. There is a coffee bar outside in the courtyard, but I find that it is largely used by the regulars and the people who practically live at the church serving in its various ministries. Everyone else aims for the parking lot.

I miss the rag tag bunch of believers that we had at our last church. That rag tag bunch would have to be kicked out before they'd leave.

Don't get me wrong. We love our church. Pastor David's preaching is creative and easy to follow. He consistently preaches the Gospel for the lost. When my wife was in surgery last month, David was on phone with me while I waited for her to come out of surgery. By the time she got out of surgery, Pastor Scott was standing there with me and my good friend to greet her.

The worship team leads with an energy that is usually unmatched by the crowd of worshippers - something that is quite often lost on me.

But something is missing.

We know plenty of people. We have plenty of friends there. My wife even works there.

But there is a sense of connection on a certain level that we are missing. And I don't have a solution, because, if I did, then it wouldn't be missing.

I just know that, sometimes, I miss our rag tag bunch of believers.

McCain throws us a curveball

I have to admit that I am a little perplexed with the VP nomination of Sarah Palin. I had absolutely no interest in voting for McCain, mainly because of his age - and a little because of his gung-ho obstinance. But by having a young woman as his heir - especially considering his age - he has definitely given me something to ponder.

It will have to be something that my wife and I will discuss - she was, after all, rooting for Hillary. I don't blame my wife for wanting to see a woman president. I just wanted a pro-life woman president, that's all. Or a pro-life black president for that matter.

Let's face it, as far as our household was concerned, Obama shot himself in the foot when he chose an old white dude as his VP. Now that McCain has chosen a young woman, we are thoroughly confused. Now, more than ever, I'd like to just throw away my vote on the Libertarian Party, or even write in "Jesus", or just stay home for that matter.

I don't know if I can bring myself to vote for McCain and then pray that he falls and breaks his hip or has a stroke. That just seems wrong, though it would ultimately be for the best.

Politics

Have I said anything about politics yet? I don't think I have. It's weird because I read Newsweek every Tuesday and it is filled with politics. Yet none of it really sinks in for me.

In the past, I've always been a one-issue voter: abortion. This year may be different. I am beginning to give up hope that my vote will actually make a difference on this issue. As much as the abortion statistics make me somewhat nauseous, I may just table the issue this fall and see where I am led.

First off, I am not going to vote for McCain. He is too old and I am unashamedly biased against old people making decisions for me. I don't know about Obama. I like him. But then again, I like George W. and Bill Clinton too. I think that they were both equally entertaining. If I had to guess, I'd say that it is unlikely that I'll vote for Obama. Unless Hillary is his Veep, and I'll be forced to vote for him by my wife.

Maybe I'll vote libertarian. Or maybe I'll write in Jesus or Scooby Doo.

Most of you probably care more about politics than someone as apathetic as myself. Here is your chance to influence my vote. Give me your two cents. If you don't, I'll assume that you are as apathetic as I am.

The Money Pit

We've lived in our house for three years now. We've seen it change in value from $280k to $380k and back down to $280k. In three years, I've managed to avoid having to hire a professional to do anything to our house. I've handled all the repairs myself, so far.

Lately, the list of things that I need to fix in our house has been piling up. To the point of seriously considering hiring someone to do something. Anything.

• I still need to fix the roof leak that started on July 4, 2007. I've "fixed it" three times already, but I think I may need to hire a professional finally.
• I still need to install the section of fence that my neighbor ripped out last December.
• I need to replace our washer, which is now hemorrhaging water onto the floor every time we do a load of laundry.
• I need to fix the drainage on our back porch which doesn't drain properly during a hard rain - which happens every afternoon in South Florida during the summer.
• I need to fix a couple of broken tiles in our kitchen.

This month, we gave in and hired a professional on two separate occasions:

• Hired a guy to come and fix the broken pool pump at a hefty $200. A reminder of why I do everything myself.
• My wife hired a lawn maintenance company to trim our 12 foot hedges as an anniversary present to me this month. $60 saved me from 3 hours of blood, sweat, and tears.

I suppose, through all of this, I am building character. Or at least following in my dad's footsteps. Last year, when he passed away, we discovered that he had been replacing the support beams in the crawlspace of his house. My 52 year old 6'5" father had been spending his weekends by himself in the crawlspace jacking up the house and replacing the 8 foot long support beams. A last testament to my father's willingness to work hard and save money. Something that I had learned long ago while working on the car and fixing up the house with him.

I am trying hard not to give in and pay someone else to do something that I myself am fully capable of doing or at least capable of learning to do. I call it my Michigan work ethic. Because I live in a culture in South Florida where people pay other people to clean their house, wash their car, do their yard work, their laundry, and just about anything else they can think of.

My Mom: a mother's day post

I'd say that my mom is a role model for me, but that wouldn't be terribly accurate. I find that I don't need to "model" myself after my mother at all, we're too much alike for me to even bother.

What aspects of my personality come from my mother, you may ask?

• Quiet introspection.


• Flippancy. No stress. Everything rolls off our backs like water on a duck.


• A mellow, content attitude for just about everything.


• A willingness to talk openly about just about anything (even sex - that one really bugs my wife.)


• Slow, cautious, defensive driving.


• Frugality.


• The ability to utilize/eat 100% of the leftovers in the refrigerator (or freezer).


• A healthy appreciation for The Andy Griffith Show, Yentl, and a slew of "black and white" television shows and movies.


• The "shock" of gray hair that's presently coming in at the front of my head (my mom had one in the same spot.)

The Golden Era of Sci-Fi Cinema

The Golden Era of Sci-Fi Cinema, according to me and my wife:

1981-1984

Dragonslayer - 1981

Excalibur - 1981

Time Bandits - 1981

Clash of the Titans - 1981

Beastmaster - 1982

Wrath of Kahn - 1982

Conan - 1982

The Dark Crystal - 1982

Return of the Jedi - 1983

Krull - 1983

Conan the Destroyer - 1984

Dune - 1984

Ice Pirates - 1984

Gremlins - 1984

Neverending Story - 1984

And for Honorable mention from the television miniseries division:

V - 1984

DID WE FORGET ANYTHING?

My Shepherd???? What happened to 'Jesus'?

Did anyone catch American Idol Gives Back last night? (I know, this will cost me a man-card.)

Did anyone catch the finale which involved all of the Idol contestants singing the much over-played "Shout to the Lord". (Well, its overplayed if you've been to church at all in the past decade.)

Did anyone catch what was missing from the song?

They sang:

"My shepherd"

It should have been:

"My Jesus"

Now you all know me well enough to know why I have a problem with that, right?

Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?

Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Or a stadium? Or a racing series? What is in a name these days? Simply dollars and cents?

What names do we hold dear? How about Wrigley Field, the home of the Cubs, in Chicago. My wife and I used to head over Chi-town a couple times a year and Wrigley was one of the highlights of that city.

I am still trying to accustom myself to calling the Winston Cup Series, that's Nascar for you non-rednecks, by it's new name: The Nextel Cup Series. Oh, wait. I mean the Sprint Cup series. Well, if you mess with the big names like the Winston Cup Series, then, surely it isn't a big deal to follow it up by changing the Busch Series to the Nationwide Series. Maybe its just me, but didn't Busch beer serve as a much better representation of the typical Nascar fan than Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company? But it really isn't about representation, or history, or tradition, or value. It is about money, and how much of it can be made off of so-called naming rights.

How much value do we still hold for Lord Frederick Stanley, the namesake for the Stanley Cup - the National Hockey League's highest prize? Will we soon be calling it the Reese's Pieces Cup or the Comcast Cup? Perhaps Lord Stanley is already rolling in his grave at the thought.

Maybe I'm not a big enough fan of Nascar, but it's name changes didn't really bother me that much. Living so close to the Bank Atlantic Center (home of the Florida Panthers and previously known as National Car Rental Center, Broward County Civic Arena, and Office Depot Center) has made me a little more aware and also annoyed at the impact of a simple name change for the sake of a buck.

But for some reason, the possibility of a name change for Wrigley Field really rankles me. Wrigley is more than a ballpark. It is an institution, a destination, and a proven source for fond memories held by many Midwesterners. What a shame, if they sell it's name.

Cremation or Burial?

Upon your death, would you like to be cremated or buried?

And do you have a theological/cultural/practical reason for your answer?

My wife and I are on opposite sides of the coin, and we joke that whoever dies first loses, because then the other will have their way.